


Everyone Falls Down

by Kuramichan



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comfort, Depression, Explicit Language, Happy Ending, M/M, Sometimes people just need a hug, What did you expect from Romano though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 06:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17116148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuramichan/pseuds/Kuramichan
Summary: A short about Lovino dealing with his persistent depression. Talking isn't the only way to help someone, sometimes its just physically being there for them.





	Everyone Falls Down

There was a tentative knock on Lovino’s door. Refusing to acknowledge it, he hid under his covers wishing for his brother to go away.

“L-lovi?” Came the inquiring voice behind the door. “It’s noon and you’re still in bed… again.” This last word was mumbled as though Feliciano didn’t have the loudest voice on the planet. Lovino cringed at the sound and continued not to respond. 

“What do I do?” Feliciano wondered aloud. _Fuck off,_ was Lovino’s silent answer. “I made you breakfast hours ago you know, and Toni is really worried about you. He’s gonna come over today to see us, but you should stop ignoring him. Lovi, he really cares about you.” _And what do you want me to do about it?_

After a few more moments of quiet, his little brother stepped away from the door and back down the hallway. Lovino knew he was being childish, but he couldn’t do it today. He couldn’t. What was so wrong with just having a day… or okay maybe a week, to yourself without people pestering you to say “Why don’t you come out of your room?” or “Sleeping so much isn’t good for you, Lovi.” Like they understood anything that had been going through his mind. 

Lovino was tired. So sick and tired of dealing with everything and everyone. Unfortunately for his boyfriend, Antonio, this included him as well. Why did it seem to be such a crime just wanting to be left the fuck alone for a while? Talking was simply the last thing he wanted to do. He had his damn reasons, _not that it’s anyone else’s business._ Of course this was only his defensive mind speaking. And so, Lovino stayed where he was, since he hadn’t had an appetite for days, or the will to move. 

He’d tried multiple times to get up, in fact, but found he couldn’t make it anywhere besides the bathroom. Lovino knew what was happening: his depression had taken a turn for the worse. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with before, having episodes like this constantly a year ago. They were easier to hide, however, and Feliciano never suspected a thing. It was a bad time, and Lovino had even reached the point where he’d been about to completely cave in and lose his mind. 

Then he met Antonio. Sweet, handsome, idiotic Antonio. Saying he swept Lovino off his feet was an understatement. The day they met, that crushing feeling in his chest and fuzziness in his head lifted. For a while even afterwards it felt as though the world had opened up before him and given him a reason to get up in the morning. 

When Antonio asked him out, he’d received a resounding but confused yes. Lovino was on cloud nine. He couldn’t imagine why someone with such a carefree and bright personality would choose someone like him. After all, the first words he spoke to him were “What the fuck are you staring at?” Something was so captivating about Antonio, and Lovino couldn’t seem to get his head around it. 

Despite all of this, it was bound to come back. It always did when he let his guard down, and here it was to once again take away his little bit of happiness. Not that anyone who gave a shit about him could figure that out. Lovino sighed heavily and shifted onto his other side to stare blankly at the wall. For hours he stayed like this, looking to his phone for mindless videos but ignoring the several text messages and missed calls from who he could only assume was a now distraught boyfriend. 

The last thing Lovino wanted to do was ignore Antonio, but the problem lay in his ability to speak. He couldn’t get himself to respond or care what was said to him despite wishing desperately for the Spaniard’s company. And so, just as Feliciano had said, he arrived to their front door. Lovino only clutched his blanket tighter and knew full well who was out there with his little brother just by the knock he'd heard. Then came footsteps through the hallway and the sound of his door handle turning. _Of course the first thing he would do is open the door._ He cursed bitterly in his mind as the bedroom door squeaked open. 

“Feli, it isn’t even locked?” A voice that still made his heart jump was met with embarrassed giggling. _Its not my fault that dip shit didn’t think to try the handle._

The door closed. A pair of footsteps trekked into his room, and Lovino felt the bed shift with the weight of someone sitting at its edge. He was still facing the opposite end of the room and didn’t bother to move to find out who it was. 

“Lovi.” Antonio’s accented voice was soft. “Talk to me.” _Well, that’s just the problem, isn’t it? Dumb Spaniard._ Even in his own head Lovino didn’t mean any of it; he almost never did. He knew Antonio had no possible way of knowing. So the Italian focused himself just enough to say one thing.

“I can’t,” was his curt response. It was all he could manage. His boyfriend breathed out in frustration. 

“So you want me to leave then?” The assumption in his tone hurt. He sounded so resigned and he hadn’t even been there for five minutes. _I always seem to have that effect on people._ Lovino found himself shaking his head, hoping Antonio had seen it. When the Spaniard rose from his place, Lovino feared he didn’t and was about to panic before he realized the bed was shifting right behind him. “Alright, I don’t know what good I can do, but I’m right here.” 

It was more than Lovino could have hoped for. If this had been him on the other side of things, he probably would have left from the pain and sheer frustration of the situation. Luckily, Antonio was nothing like his Italian partner. It took him a full twenty minutes to formulate his next short sentence that broke the dead silence of his room.

“Tonio,” there was a noise of surprise from the unexpected use of his nickname, “Hold me for a while?” Lovino waited in tensed anticipation. He asked him for something that stupid and now it was too late to take it back. It wasn't long before relief washed over him as Antonio, rather than verbally answering him, slid under the covers. His body pressed against Lovino’s back, colder from the weather outside, not that he was going to complain about it, and a familiar arm wrapped around him. He was pulled in close, like Antonio expected him to change his mind and push him away. As if he could find the energy to actually do that.

Lovino felt like a dead weight, but he didn’t know what else to do with himself. He just wanted to stay there in Antonio’s embrace and forget the entire world while he was able to. Eventually, the Italian settled for taking a larger hand in his and hugging it tightly to his chest. Hearing and feeling no complaint from the other party, Lovino concluded that both of them were in some sense of the word content. 

Yes, even with everything crashing down around him, Lovino was content. As long as the silly yet passionate person holding him so gently still loved him, whatever strange reason that may be. He would open up to those around him in time, but right now this was what he really needed. Not a lecture, nor prodding to get out and do something. All of it would come back to him eventually. Hell, maybe he’d go find some therapist or whatever the fuck it took to break this vicious cycle of unhappiness. All he had needed in the moment was a little reassurance that things were going to be okay. 

Lovino thought it over and knew he did not deserve someone like this, someone so unphased by his crippling, controlling darkness. For once, he managed to find his words and voiced to Antonio the exact thought going through his mind out loud. Just this once.

_“Thank you.”_


End file.
